My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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