I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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