i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Vodka?
Forever.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize