On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
