bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
