I wannas sexs uuuuu
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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