I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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