it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
