somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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