Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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