Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
