3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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