The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
