Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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