So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
