Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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