k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The best revenge is premature balding
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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