they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
