I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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