he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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