1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
