May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
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You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
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I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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