I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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