i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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