I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
