Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She bit a glass in half.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
