There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
