Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
