Buhtt sex?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
