I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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