are you still at the devil's house?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
