you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
