2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
