marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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