this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
