I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I wear drunk well.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
