so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
