I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
