Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
