It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
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