i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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