a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
This is my gift to your gina
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
how does that bad decision feel?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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