but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
