I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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