what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
