Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
