Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Enjoy the penises
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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