I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
