What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
there's paper in my vomit.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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