I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
