I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
