I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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