; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
