Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
