Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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