we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
