She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My breasts were aching with rage.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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