seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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