ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
