Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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