Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
