you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
