put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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