Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
